Thursday Throwback

Here is this week's Thursday Throwback.

First Posted: Wednesday, December 07,2005

Entitled: The Hardest Thing To Do...

It's ironic, the cards life deals you to play with. First of all, I've always been the one other people gravitates to when it comes to talking. A friend once referred to me as a "People Magnet" seemingly never meeting a stranger or turning anyone away if they needed to talk, often times general conversations leading into entrusted secrets. I guess, it all comes from being a good listener and being able to keep those secrets. Now on the other hand, as you probably can tell, one of the hardest, most difficult things to do in this world, for me, is talk about myself. I have never fully opened up to anyone and it is probably obvious to those of you stopping by why this is. Life dealt me a deck of cards I thought I had to play. If fact, I have played them into a good life according to most other people's standards. Don't get me wrong, it's been and still is a good life but its been a life totally lived for others. If I had to live it over, there are things I would never change but the pathway I talked about in a earlier post would have been a different one, it may not have been better, but it would have been more honest and true. Let me say here, I'm not seeking pity, I'm not seeking sympathy, actually this post is leading to something totally the opposite. Even though the "inside me" feels like the person looks in today's pic empty, alone.........today's post is actually one of THANKS: I thank each and every one of you guys that stop by, that takes the time to leave a comment, or send an email. If you only knew how much I envy you, for being open, for being honest to yourself, and above all for being "my listener". Thank you for allowing me to share the other person inside.....

Self Commentary:  There is a lot of guys still living in a dank, dark closet not out of wanting to but out of obligations, loyalty, and commitments to family. Often at a great sacrifice to their own happiness. It is what it is, as least, it is what it is, for me. Finding acceptance instead of condemnation is hard and I am so lucky, I have found acceptance with my blogging friends and family. I do so envy you and I'm so proud of those of you for finding the courage to step out into the light and live openly, proudly, and for making it possible for others to follow suit. I thank each of you for giving me your acceptance, for allowing me to live, to share the closeted side of my life., for being my "listener".  If I'm to be in this closet forever that is ok, acceptance has been made. Remember I seek no pity! After all, if I had it all in this life what would I have to look forward to in the next....

Tuesday Teaser

Tan Lines.... Yes or No???

Hypnotikos

Restless, tossing, turning, mind racing, unable to sleep. The harder I tried, the more it eluded me. Just out of reach hour after hour it teased. Looking at the red faced clock I counted off the seconds, minutes, hours. Slow deep breathes, trying to free the mind of the countless meaningless images - thoughts that swept in on the winds of a tornado they swirled round and round. Hard as I tried, I failed to fill the mind with darkness, the void of nothingness escaped off into the distance taking with it the restful sleep I sought. Night turned to day.  It should be a day of calm, a day to rejuvenate the body, the mind, the soul. A day to forget the hectic week past but my mind continues to play every act of the week's play over and over. Sometimes in the chaos, it all shifts to next week and the calendar of things to do. My mind unable to  compartmentalize things, the filing cabinet that usually can be found neatly organized is array with disorder. Where is a hypnotist when you need one.....

Thursday Throwback

Here is this week's Thursday Throwback.

First Posted: Tuesday, August 14,2007:  Entitled: "Wet or Dry"

Being home alone, nothing to do, bored out of my mind, I clicked into a chat room, a few days ago. What, hard to believe? Well, Annelle, I admit it, yes I do pray . . . I mean go to chat rooms. After weeding through, slipping and dodging those only interested in wanting to know, location, age, and always my favorite, how BIG is it, I met a guy that had been to the Land of Oz and gotten a brain. This guy impressed me, he turned out to be quite a conversationalist, well maybe typist, but none the less and more importantly he had a brain. Apparently, like me, he just wanted to talk. OK . . . OK, the whole conversation didn't consist only about global warming, we did talk about other things, as well. One of the more interesting topics that might make you raise an eyebrow was about pre-cum. Yes, you read it right, pre-cum. If you're a man, I'm sure you know about it. Steven, yes we had the same name, only spelled differently, apparently leaked like a faucet and at times had gotten himself into some embarrassing situations. I guess, if you think about it, hiding a hard-on is, well hard enough, but trying to conceal a wet spot could be a problem. How do you do it? I mean not do it, do it! But how do you hide your wet spot when it happens, he asked? Well, I don't, I replied. It is something that isn't a problem. Some of us do (leak), some of us don't, and I happen to be one of the ones that don't. Perhaps mine is broken, I typed. He knew some men didn't produce what some call the Nectar of the Gods, but had never met or talked with a guy that didn't have pre-cum. Gee thanks, I said, I don't know whether to feel honored or inadequate? He laughed and the conversation continued . . . of course, back to global warming!

Self-Commentary:  I know, I know too much information. It is something I don't really think about...can't miss what you never had, I guess.

Tuesday Teaser

Almost Forgot....
Back to our regular scheduled Tuesday Teaser! 

Pectoral Perfection, don't you think?

Jesus Is Gay

Right hand is raised. I swear to tell the  truth, the whole truth, I will not lie. Stephen is a big fan of The Walking Dead. Don't come by unless you are going to sit down, remain quiet and watch it with me. Don't call, I will not answer the phone short of you having a heart attack and then that might be debatable. Take a aspirin... call me in a hour! Don't text and expect an answer right away, not going to happen. Responding to a text is not out of the ordinary if you know me.  You already know, I will call you if it is over a one text conversation, but only after The Walking Dead.  Seven seasons and I'm still hooked. This past week's episode didn't disappoint, we finally got an answer: JESUS IS GAY!

Thursday Throwback

Here is this week's Thursday Throwback.

First Posted: Tuesday, May 09, 2006:  Entitled "Are You Man Enough"

There is a question, but you don't ask it. I see it in your eyes before they look away.

You wonder, if I ask the question, will I be able to bear the answer? I know it is the fear of hearing the answer that prevents you from asking.  There is pain, I can feel it, I know it is there, there is no use in denying it, I've known you to long.

Although you try, you can't hide it. It has always been there, it has always been the one thing that has kept us from being complete, you know it, as well as I, there is no use in denying it.

The painted smile you wear in the light of day does not cover up the tears you allow out in the shadows of the night. How do I know, you ask?

Remember, I know you, I know you better than you know yourself. You can hide things from all the others, but there is nothing you can hide from me.

I know you to well. . . I am you.

Self Commentary:   Where does the time go?  It has almost been ten years since writing these words down.  Literally, a lifetime ago.  The painted smile, I still wear for the outward world to see. The pain and tears if I am to be honest to myself are still present. They are only allowed to be seen by the man in the mirror and shared here amongst friends .

Tuesday Teaser

This week is a Tuesday Teaser of a different kind. A photo from the shores of the Atlantic ocean and the beach! I stumbled across it and it got me to thinking. The coast of Georgia is a hop, skip, jump away from where I live.  Numerous beaches, along it shores, and I hate to admit, but its been years since I have been to any of them. Years, since I have walked along the shore, years since I have felt the salty breeze of the ocean wind against my skin, and I have no one to blame other than myself. Life can not be this busy. Why do we do this to ourselves? I need to reevaluate the important things in my life.... I need to feel the sand beneath my feet..... 

Dripping Penis

Gonorrhea symptoms in men

Greenish yellow or whitish discharge from the penis

Burning when urinating

Burning in the throat (due to oral sex)

Painful or swollen testicles

Swollen glands in the throat (due to oral sex)

Sometimes no symptoms exhibit

There are an estimated 820,000 new gonorrhea infections in the US each year. It not only affects the reproductive tract, but can also affect the mucus membranes of the mouth, throat, eyes, joints and rectum.

OK, enough with the scary stuff. Well, not really. If your "Johnson" is dripping anything other than the usual body fluids, and we all know what they should be,  then it is a scary situation. But all drips are not the same, as was the two cases this week that came across my desk.  Both men exhibited the classic signs, painful urination and of course the yellowish discharge, unprotected sex, etc. etc.  Drop trousers and a culture we will do. I sure they thought you going to stick what, where,? MY JOHNSON!

Both cases were cleared for gonorrhea but both still had nasty bacterial infections. In fact, one had two different kinds of bacteria growing with heavy growth of each. The culprits in these cases turned out to be:  Staph saprophyticus, Proteus mirabilis, E. coli. all easily treated.  Especially since the E. coli was highly sensitive to all tested antibiotics, which would have been a different story if it had turned out as an ESBL. But that's a different story for a different time, and too boring of a tale.

Long story short, if your penis is dripping, get it checked out! Yes, it will require someone sticking a swab up your Johnson or at the least a first morning catch of urine....

Be responsible and wear protection if you don't know anything about the hole your sticking it in.... 

Thursday Throwback

Here is this week's Thursday Throwback.

First Posted: Tuesday, May 09, 2006:  Entitled "Searching"

"Searching . . . searching for what?" he asked.

"If I knew, there would be no need to search," I say. I only know that it is out there, it is waiting.

"You're not making any sense, Stephen. I don't get you sometimes, I really think you were dropped on your head as a child.

Dropped on my head, huh? You really think that is what happened?

No answer comes back, only a shake of the head.

No matter, I think to myself. I know it is out there, it is waiting, I will find it.



Self commentary:   Never leave a stone unturned, never give up on your search....

Tuesday Teaser

The clock didn't go off, you overslept, you are late for work a second time this week....you go back into the bedroom to get your briefcase before rushing out the door....you see this out stretched hand beckoning you back into bed.

Could you say no?

Regrets of A Straight Kind

When all is said and done, will you have any regrets in life? Well, Stephen will have a few, some you already know and I will not rehash them in this post.. This post is about regrets of the straight kind, and is one, never shared. I regret, ok here it goes, I regret not knowing how to play an instrument. I know, silly right? What instrument you may ask? Well, if I haven't already given it away by matching the photo with the post I share, it would be the Cello. I love the sound, it warms the cockles of my heart and at the same time its resonating deep sound chills me to the bone. The bow as it slides over the strings, the sound of its music, breathtakingly beautiful. I know what you're thinking, but your wrong. The proverbial can't teach an old dog new tricks definitely does apply here. I know my limitations and I'm not ashamed to admit them. The skill to master an instrument I did not acquire but that's ok. I am content to sit on the sideline and listen.. Not one but two cellos and a old time favorite: 2CELLOS - Hurt

Thursday Throwback

Here is this week's Thursday Throwback. It will be a post from a earlier date and time of mine. It will be random with no rhyme or reason.

                                                 First Posted: Monday, August 07, 2006 :

If it Feels Right, Then Who Has The Right To Say Different

There was a fork in the road, along the path I walked and I chose the more traveled of the two. A path laid down by father to son many times before. Did I choose this path out of duty or did I choose this path out of fear? Perhaps, the answer will never be known or perhaps having been buried somewhere deep inside many years ago the answer has no importance anymore. But, if I knew then, what I know now, how different things would be, some things would be better and some things, well I can not allow myself to ever imagine not having in my life, but it is all water under the bridge. It is the path I now travel, some dreams not realized but lessons have been learned along the way. Do not make the same mistakes of the father, do not choose the more traveled path because it is what's expected, if the words your brain hears are not the words in your heart, do not listen, choose your own path, make it your own, not someone else's. Don't listen to those that tell you it is wrong, a sin, a damnation. The truth, your truth lies within you, listen to your heart, if it feels right to you, then it is right.

Self commentary: From then to now, nothing as changed. The best advice I could ever give you is to  follow your "own" heart. Right or wrong do what is right for you. Do not live your life at someone else's expectations.