Thursday, April 27, 2006

All Tied Up

Guys, sorry for the lack of posting lately, but I've been all tied up and unfortunately not in the good kind of way. For the last several days, it has been nothing but work, work, and more work. I've felt like a tumble turd bug in a pasture of fresh cow manure, wondering where in the heck was all this crap coming from, steadily rolling big piles of shit into smaller piles of shit in an attempt of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And although I've been given a reprieve of a few hours of down time this morning I'm sure those cows are steadily adding more work. Where is that light?

Friday, April 21, 2006


Well, guys, the days off have come and gone, and it is back to work, but I so much wanted to send each of you " A Heartfelt Thank-you" follow-up.

There are no words within the covers of the dictionary that could describe what it meant to me reading the comments each of you left on the last post. It only makes me realize that this journey is only made more wonderful by the gift of friendship. Hugs and Kisses

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Heartfelt Thank-you

There was an almost Helen Keller silence in the room. The only sound being heard was the beating of my own heart. Its pounding echoing in my ear, silent to everyone but deafening to me. I sat in front of the computer screen, fingers resting on the keyboard, as a lifetime of desires locked away in darkness, found their way out. A new journey, a new beginning, a new discovery of myself had been born, it was called a blog. Not knowing what to expect, not knowing where it would lead, not knowing if I was opening a door that could be or for that matter, a door I would ever want to shut again, I began typing. It has been a wonderful journey and a discovery of some wonderful friends. Friends that have extended their hands in a friendship I never imagined existed. Chances are we may never meet in person but always know each of you have made a difference in Stephen's life.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Monday's To Do List.

Easter has come and gone and no I didn't find the prize egg, Damnit! Actually, I worked all weekend and didn't get the chance to partake in any of the Easter activities but then you won't see a tear in the corner of my eye, its never been one of my favorite holidays. At least by volunteering to work, I'm now looking at a few days off. But then a few days off, at this time of year down South, doesn't mean a few days off. There is a list of things needing to be done: grass needs cutting, weeds need pulling, need to broadcast some weed and feed to kill the weeds in the lawn and fertilize the grass, just like I need the damn grass to grow any faster, got to wash the vehicles . . . can't even see what color they are from all the pollen and bee crap, pressure wash the deck, clean the grill, did I say I had the day off? Well, maybe I'll get to enjoy one of these after I get through. Ok, get your mind out of the gutter, I was talking about the beer in his hand.  Posted by Picasa

Friday, April 14, 2006

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Is It Time?

Well guys, I know it has been a few days since posting and I could say it was due to my hectic work schedule or perhaps my late night partying habits, or my even more exciting love life, but I can't. The truth of the matter is Stephen has been lost. . . lost somewhere inside himself these last few days. In fact, Stephen has been lost his entire life to himself and to his truth. Sitting here, thoughts racing, twisting, turning, swirling faster than the Kansas tornado that landed Dorothy into the Land of Oz. Stephen is wondering, Stephen is questioning, is it time?

The nurse steps into the room, "Stephen, it is time for your medication."

Friday, April 07, 2006

How Do You Spell Relief?

Tension building, heart pounding, blood racing, blood engorged cock, pounding, fisting, faster, nuts tightening, jacking, harder, toes curling:


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

It's A Small World

If you have been a reader of my blog then you are aware of the few post concerning the repairman, the first one was entitled: Almost and the other one hinted to possibly another encounter posted only a day or so ago entitled: Peekaboo. This is the conclusion.

He came into my world a perfect stranger, unimposing yet with an air of self-assuredness about him but then he was here to do a job. Had he walked into a room full of people some heads would have turned, but most would have only offered a glance or two before returning to whatever it was that held their attention, perhaps a book or back to a boring conversation, having made no lasting impression in their preoccupied minds. Admittedly, there was nothing Roman God like about him, no chiseled chest of muscles, bulging biceps, but there was something, and on this day he was standing in my doorway. There was no room full of people, only the two of us exchanging introductions, out stretched hands, firm handshake, nice hands. There was an aura of innocence, an essence of wholesomeness about him, he was no doubt a good son, a good brother, and from the ring of gold on his third finger of his left hand, a good husband. We talked while he did his work, steady, sure of himself and his ability, stopping on occasion to make eye contact, his eyes sparkling or was it only a reflection of my own I was seeing. What was it about this stranger that had me drawn to him as a moth is drawn to the flickering of a candle flame? Here I was a man wondering what it would be like to embrace another man. Here I was a man wondering what it would be like to slowly unbutton his shirt, button by button exposing more of what my eyes were already feasting on, a tuff of man hair peeking out from a few already opened buttons.

My eyes falling downward, I wondered what lie hidden from my view, lost for a moment in thought, perhaps I allowed my gaze to linger too long. Looking back up our eyes met, was there a slight smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eye? I wondered? I came close to throwing caution to the wind, I came close to opening the door of this closet and for once stepping outside, I came close. Believe me I thought about it, I thought about it more than once, I would be lying if I said I didn't but I let the chance slip through my fingers.

Fast forward a few weeks and call it what you will, bad luck perhaps good luck, but in either case there would be another meeting between myself and the repairman. Ok, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I found myself having warm fuzzies thinking about the possibilities. Heck, I didn't even know if he would be the same guy to come back or if another one would get the call but I guess the Gods were smiling down from above. The doorbell rang, door opens, and once again there is no room full of people, only the two of us, standing there. Another greeting, another handshake, nice hands, he followed me inside. The ease of conversation present as it had been on our first meeting, maybe more so.

We talked while he did his work, steady, sure of himself and his ability, stopping on occasion to make eye contact, his eyes sparkling, mine filled with lust and desire. My mind made up, I was going to chance it. I was going to swing open this closet door. My heart pounded like an African jungle drum from a Tarzan movie. We talked, he worked, the pounding of the drum got louder and louder, he found the problem, a minor one, no charge he was saying, he would take care of it, smiling, eyes sparkling, as he finished. Then it happened.....

Don't ask me how, but somehow it happened, what on my part had only been a first name was followed by a last name, followed by the son of, brother to, husband of . . . the pounding of the drums slowed as I was thinking it really is a small world after all. There is relief that "IT" did not happen. As a dear friend once told me, fantasizing about what might have happened can be more stimulating than what could have happened in reality.

Stephen slowly shuts the door.

Monday, April 03, 2006


Ok, enough of the blue skies, it is time for some man stuff, here at Southern Closet. There has not been a rain cloud in sight for days but that didn't stop the Gods from pissing on me this weekend. The "Bad Luck Fairy" flew in and dusted me with some of his "trouble dust" Saturday morning and I've been hotter than a ho' in church all weekend. Remember ***** looks like he will coming back. Maybe it isn't all bad luck after all.