Trick or Treat?
Monday, October 27, 2008
I knew it! I knew he was going to be pissed. I knew there would be hell to pay, but I couldn't resist. I tried! I really did. Well, on second thought, maybe I didn't. Maybe I did flirt a little too much, but I'm tired of listening to him. I'm tired of hiding inside this cramped dark closet. I'm tired of living this celibate life. I'm tried of living in his shadow, hidden away in his darkness. I want to feel again, to live again, I want to know what love feels like again. And if I leave it up to the two of you, well, we all know what will happen and I'm not ready to accept that fate. So here is your warning, if I get the chance, I'm kicking the damn door off its hinges.
Listen at you! Going to kick the damn door down, huh? What makes you think you can do it now after all these years? The two of you are giving me a migraine, sit down, shut up, and listen. If its not him ranting and raving, then its you ranting and raving. Give it a break! Take a deep breath, calm down, and think about this thing. My life is no picnic here, let me tell you. Day after day, I sit here, I watch the battle, the struggles, with needle and thread I stitch up the bloody wounds each of you inflict on one another. It's hard, I know its hard, both of you are strong in your convictions, determined to fight until the end, neither one willing to give an inch, but something's got to give. The battles are getting bloodier and frankly Florence Nightingale is getting tired. The two of you must find a compromise, we are in this thing together, and whether you like it or not we are stuck with each other....................
Saturday, October 25, 2008
There's too many of us living here and I think it is time, one if not both of you move out. I'm sorry but the living arrangements, well, they're just not working anymore. I've tried to be accommodating, I've tried to understand, but your antics is getting out of hand. Take for instance, the other day, you, yes you, your antics almost blew our cover. Oh! Don't act so innocent now, you know what you did, you couldn't take your eyes off him, it was obvious to me, to him, and the co-worker we were having lunch with, what you were doing. Flirting with another man, in broad open daylight, in a public place, no less. What were you thinking? What am I going to do with you, you're getting out of control. And you, yes you, I've always been able to count on you for the balance between us. You've always kept things under control never allowing "him" to upset the harmonious relationship between the three of us, but you let me down. It was obvious, guys, our cover was almost blown, I can not tolerate that kind of behavior anymore. I just can't, I won't................I want you out!
to be continued......................................
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
When I've been too tired to stand alone, too weary to carry the burdens. When I've almost given up you have cradled me in your arms, surrounded me with your love, protected me not only from the world, but from myself. Your love, your kindness gives me hope, gives me strength, gives me a reason to believe again.
Thank-you for being my guardian angels..........
Monday, October 13, 2008
Turn to the right three times stop on 27, back counter-clock wise two turns stop on 39, back again to the right, stop on 3, turn handle to open...........
Simple instructions, but obviously the wrong combination, the safe is still locked. Once again, to the right, back to the left, right again stopping on 3, crank the handle, still nothing, the safe is still locked, its job of safekeeping still intact. Angrily, I twist the dial hard. Why, for what, I know it isn't going to make it open, but for a millisecond the anger is dissipated. The tumblers inside the lock still turn with ease and with the right combination of turns and twist and numbers will fall one after the other in sequence, each one relinquishing its hold of what was entrusted and the door will open..... my heart will be free to love again.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Where did they go? All of them, every last single one of them has disappeared! Like a thief in the night looted and gone, they are. I've been robbed! I know I should have updated, switched over, changed hosting sites for my links, but I never got around to doing it and now look where it's gotten me. Nothing! I guess this tells me something, I guess I should be reading between my own lines more, shouldn't I? A lesson learned, it could be. Never put things off!
Diligent as a beaver building his dam back after a flash flood, I will work on adding everyone back, but if I miss you, please leave me a comment or send me an email.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
How long had it been? I couldn't remember, but heck it's kind of like riding a bike. Years between rides, flat tires, rusted chains, none of it matters, once you've done it a time or two, it is something you never forget how to do. So I thought, what did I have to lose, absolutely nothing. I took a deep breath and sank to my knees. I admit, I was a little wobbly, a little rusty but this was something I needed to do. The desire was so strong I couldn't back out, I wanted it so bad, I could almost taste it, without ever parting my lips. I was nervous, my hands shook, and briefly I thought about getting up, about walking away, forgetting it all together, but it had been so long and I so needed to do this. I closed my eyes, another deep breath, and I started! Dear God, forgive me, I know I have sinned! I know I am not worthy but if you are still answering prayer, please, if you see fit answer one for me. The crispness of the air filled my lungs and the cool breeze touched my face like the gentle hands of a lover this morning on my way to work and I just can't survive another day locked away inside. Please God, give me the strength of Samson, lead me to the pillars of stone, help me Lord, to bring down the walls, let them tumble at the feet of my captors. I am suffocating, stuck inside these walls, please set me free. I need to be outside, I need to feel, to breath the freshness of Fall! I need to run naked through the falling leaves..... well, maybe not naked, but none the less, I need to be outside, damn it! Amen.
OK, I did it. Stephen slowly gets up, sits down at his desk and goes back to work.
Update: Guess what? God does answer prayers, at least, sometimes. I finished up at work earlier than expected so I headed home, changed, put on some hiking shoes and spent some of the afternoon hiking, no interruptions, no distractions, just me and the fresh Autumn air...