Thursday, August 28, 2008


I'm doing something I've never done. I'm erasing a post. I wish I could erase the whole day the post was about, but I can't. Things happen for a reason, sometimes we don't understand them and sometimes it is hard to accept them, but we must, if we are to survive another day. I usually don't talk about work and the things that go on and after having some time I realized I had done just that. We all have bad days, we deal with them, we go on.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Waters Recede


After days of rain, and the likely possibility of another flood, the dove has returned with an olive branch and faith has been restored that we will again have dry land. Well maybe not, according to the Weather Channel looks like the "bitch" is circling around creating another low front and will be coming toward us from the other side, nothing major, just more rain. This past weekend was rainy, high winds, nasty, nasty weather, everything is wet, soggy, messy, but we actually were the lucky ones. We caught the band of winds and rain from Tropical Storm Fay only once, whereas, some felt her fury again and again as she criss-crossed across the State of Florida causing major flooding and loss of life. I've got the day off and while it is not raining, I need to get out and pick up some of the branches blown down, but I wanted to say thanks for the comments and for caring. Hugs from the heart..............

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Wet and Dreary


I went to bed last night listening to the pounding rain against the windowpane and the swirling of Fay's howling winds only to wake up to the same sound this morning.

Forecast for the weekend: Wet and Dreary

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Want To Live........

"Let Me Out!"

"NO!" You know I can't. We've been through this before. You know you're in there for a reason. "Quit asking!"

"Please, I promise to be good this time."

That's what you said last time, and you remember what happened then, don't you?

"You know it wasn't my fault, it just happened. Besides, you were with me, so you're just as much to blame as I was. Now let me out!"

Like I had a choice, you dragged me along protesting, kicking and screaming, but would you listen, NO! You had to go through with it and you see what happened. It's better you stay in there, we're both safer this way.

"But I'm dying, can't you see, can't you feel it, without me there is only existence, there is no life! If I die, you die." Please, I want to live....................

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Jay Brannan

Artist: Jay Brannan
Song: Housewife

Have you heard of Jay Brannan? I had not, until I came across him this week while blog hopping (can't remember which blog, sorry) so I had to google him. Take a listen and see if you like him, as much as I do.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


Adrenalin pumped, muscle straining, record breaking, fist pumping, another gold medal win excitement. Sitting on edge, heart pounding, blood rushing, then a fall from the balance beam, a stumble, another fall on the floor exercise, a foot out of bounds, the chin quivers, a tear falls, gold medal disappointment. My eyes are blood shot, my body's tired, its been almost midnight or later each night before I can tear my eyes away, I can't get enough, I'm addicted.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Even Grown Men Cry

I know, I've always been the strong one, the anchor in the raging storm. My arms have held you, protected you, but today I need someone to hold me. I need to feel protected, I need to feel the warmth, the safety of someone's arms around me. I need an anchor.............

Saturday, August 02, 2008

A Bleeding Heart

Today's story is from the pages of a book, covered in dust, hidden away in the archives of Stephen's library. Hidden amongst other books covered in cobwebs, it is a book not often shared or even read by its author. It doesn't make for a good bedtime story nor would it ever make the Bestsellers list, but if your interest has been peaked, sit back, get comfortable, while I rummage through the pages. Ages ago, way, way back almost to the beginning of time when man first began to walk upright is where the story begins. Well, OK, maybe not that far back, but some days my old bones feel as if they were around when the dinosaurs roamed the land, when creatures other than man ruled the world but for the sake of time let's fast forward a few years. The once crisp white pages have now aged, yellowed, the ink faded with the passing of time, some passages barely illegible, somewhat like a memory, bits remembered, bits forgotten. Thumbing through the pages, eyes briefly, quickly reading a few of the faded words as page after page falls upon one another, one passage catches my eye. I stop, I read the words, so long ago written. How could it be? I had forgotten all about this, somehow, somewhere, all that was, was lost in the blackness of forgetfulness. A chill runs down the spine and I shutter to think, wonder, is this what happens? Is it this easy to forget, to put aside hopes and dreams, to allow them to wither away, to die with the passing of time..............

Someday, I will listen to my heart, I will hear more than its beating, I will follow where it leads me. I promise, someday, I will live for me. What has happened, has happened, I can't change it, this I must realize, accept. I did what was expected, I did the right thing, but now I know they were your expectations, what was right for you. I do not place blame, no fault do I lay at your feet. You did, we did this together, certain things were not discussed, certain things were just not accepted. The footsteps in the sand were yours and I walked in them as a young boy, but now this man must make his own and I must remember as this man, I must allow the next young boy to make his own footprints in the sand. I will take his hand, he will walk beside me, this I promise. I pray, his footsteps will be led by his heart, not by his mind. I promise, the same mistakes will not be made. But for now, I will walk in your footsteps, I will do the right thing, I will listen only to the beats of a bleeding heart, but one day...........I promise, I will live for Stephen.

Book in hand, I pause, I sit there..................

The silence is interrupted only by the beating sound of a bleeding heart............