Friday, December 30, 2005

Rest In Peace

Where has this year gone? I turn around and much like an old worn-out pair of jeans, it is time to lay it to rest. Promising. . . New . . .Exciting. . . it began, but over the course of time much like those jeans it has become ragged, thread-bare, the promise of those new beginnings have ended. It is time I lay this year to rest, but before I close this chapter of 2005, I want to take the time to thank my friends for being there. Friendship is giving, and you will never know what each of you has given me by being there.

"I am wealthy in my friends"
---- William Shakespeare

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Somewhere, there is a world, perfect, filled with love, all my hopes and dreams fulfilled, a world meant for me. In this world you are there, we have not met but I know you are there . . . I've been waiting my whole life for you...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I'm Baaaaaaaaack!

Home Is Where The Heart Is and I can gratefully say, "My Heart Is Home". My holidays were safe, sound, and hopefully I retained part of my sanity but now all the good memories and sad memories of years gone by along with the new ones made from this Christmas can be safely packed away, there they will patiently wait till it's time to dust the cobwebs off and relive them once again next Christmas.

Everyone else had to venture back out into the cruel world of responsibility this morning, but not me, I was like a kid on Christmas morning. Relaxing by the fire, I opened each friend's blog like it was a present from Santa. It is good to be back home.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Home For the Holidays

Twas, a few days before Christmas, when all through this Blog not a creature will be stirring, not even a mouse.

"Home for the Holidays"

Today's post will be the last one for a few days, well until I get back hopefully safe, sound, and sane from the Holidays. If you are traveling this season, I pray the road you travel will be a safe one, you find your loved ones with open arms and more love awaiting for you than you can possibly soak in. May this season fill your heart, your soul, with joy and happiness.

I hope your stockings have all been hung by the chimney with care, cause St. Nicholas will soon be there.

Naughty or nice, I don't care. For the bloggers I know, I hope you have a "package" or two to unwrap....

And until I return may something like this keep you warm on those cold winter nights.

So without further ado, I bid you a farewell, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Bittersweet Christmas

The holidays in many ways is joyful, time filled with happiness of being with family, children laughing, children playing, all coming together for the celebration of another year of being with one another. And in my heart I hope that is the kind of Christmas that awaits you. But like so much of me that is held within, a part of Christmas, a part of life itself is missing. A part of me is empty. Its a part of me that has never stopping screaming from that day. The screams are never ending and only time has allowed me to learn how to turn their volume down. I know life is a journey and we never know where it will lead us. Sometimes the road we travel is filled with one pot hole after another, we struggle, we may fall, but we trod on, never knowing what is beyond the next curve, but sometimes, someone comes along that makes a difference, in the beginning a stranger, perhaps a friend of a friend, an acquaintance of the family, but no matter, somewhere along the way a bond is formed and that person becomes part of your life, twisted, entwined together. David, was that person to me. We met, we become friends and somewhere, somehow we formed a bond of friendship closer than most brothers ever have. He was one of the people in my life that made it a better place. We would talk for hours or sit in silence content in knowing nothing had to be spoken. He was the one person on the face of the earth who knew me perhaps better than I knew myself and he still loved me. This bond, this friendship would last a life time, or so I thought. But one winter afternoon the phone rang, first there was silence and then sobbing, uncontrollably sobbing, and between the tears, the anguish, I heard David's name, I heard hospital, I heard David is dead. I went numb, a coldness crept through my soul, death gripped my heart and its cold icy fingers have not fully let go, even after all this time. The screams, my screams are all held within and I brave the world, family and friends with a forced smile. Time has scarred over the wound but even time has been unable to mend this broken heart. I miss his smile, his laughter, I miss my friend. . .

Monday, December 19, 2005


The morning rays from the sun filter through the window blinds but its warmth is nothing compared to the heat of your body against mine. Your naked skin against mine heightens my senses and fills me with lust. My arms around you, holding you, lost in our embrace. My heart racing, pounding within my chest as I hold you tight. My lips on your neck, the taste of your skin, the smell of your body . . . I am lost.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Love or Lust

Where has this guy been all my life? I don't know how he has managed to fly under my radar screen all this time, but yesterday was the first time I had heard of Nate Berkus. It seems he began his career in 1995 at the age of 24 and really burst onto the scene in 2001 when he designed a small space for the Oprah show. This is where he came into my life, yesterday on Oprah, he was launching his home collection being offered exclusively at Linens 'n Things. I fell in "love" with some, "Hell" most of his things and yes, I'm really talking about his designs. But talking about "his other things" I have to admit lust came into play. The guy is gorgeous! Watching him on the show, he had an genuine innocence, a freshness, and a killer smile. When he talked his eyes sparkled, his wide open smile captivated the room and filled it with his passion for his collection. And when he thanked Oprah for being a part of his beginning success the eyes became misty and you could tell the words came from his heart. If there is someone left on your Christmas list, check out his collection I bet you'll find something they would like.

Here is just one of the things I fell in love with, bowls made from "Water Hyacinth" How cool is that?

Friday, December 16, 2005

Christmas Is In The Air

This is always a busy time of year not only due to the holidays (Thanksgiving followed by Christmas only a few weeks later) but for work also. To the few loyal readers of my blog, when you notice a lack of posting or visiting to your blogs for a few days, it is due to some hellish days at work and certainly not from lack of interest. The past two days have been ass kickers leaving little time for nothing else. But I survived and have a few days off and should use them wisely to get some Christmas shopping done but will I? Probably not! Why I do this to myself I'll never know but I always seem to put it off until the last minute and then I'm running around like the Mad Hatter from "Alice in Wonderland." Somehow it all works out and from the number of other men out in full force on Christmas Eve, it looks like I'm not the only one to do this. Christmas Eve shopping is great for guy watching, in case you didn't know it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Thinking, Dreaming, Tuesday's

The morning sun shining through the window, sipping on my second cup of coffee, no appointments, no commitments. . . life is good. Sitting in front of the fireplace watching the flames flicker, feeling the warmth from the fire, house empty, surrounded by the stillness, its quietness, its solitude, what could be a better way to start a Tuesday off. Well, I could think of a few things that would be better, some of which would involve the guy above but unfortunately I'm home all alone.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Some Monday Morning Sunshine

All to soon and the weekend is over. Hopefully this week will be better than the last one, but in case it doesn't here is something to brighten up your Monday morning. The things I could do with this guy would make the preacher blush....

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Weekend Has Finally Arrived

I didn't think the weekend was ever going to get here. Wednesday, busy, Thursday even busier, and Friday, well, busy as Hell would have been an understatement. I guess I shouldn't complain and really I'm not, the bills get paid and it keeps the wolves from the door but this week has been taxing. Long hours and incompetent people don't mix, but I survived. Now it is time to take the tie off, relax, and visit my friends. Time to escape.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Hardest Thing To Do...

It's ironic, the cards life deals you to play with. First of all, I've always been the one other people gravitates to when it comes to talking. A friend once referred to me as a "People Magnet" seemingly never meeting a stranger or turning anyone away if they happened to want to talk, often times general conversations leading into entrusted secrets. I guess, it all comes from being a good listener and being able to keep those secrets. Now on the other hand, as you probably can tell, one of the hardest, most difficult things to do in this world, for me, is talk about myself. I have never fully opened up to anyone and it is probably obvious to those of you stopping by why this is. Life dealt me a deck of cards I thought I had to play. If fact, I have played them into a good life according to most other people's standards. Don't get me wrong, it's been and still is a good life but its been a life totally lived for others. If I had to live it over, there are things I would never change but the pathway I talked about in a earlier post would have been a different one, it may not have been better, but it would have been more honest and true. Let me say here, I'm not seeking pity, I'm not seeking sympathy, actually this post is leading to something totally the opposite. Even though the "inside me" feels like the person looks in today's pic empty,'s post is actually one of THANKS: I thank each and every one of you guys that stop by, that takes the time to leave a comment, or send an email. If you only knew how much I envy you, for being open, for being honest to yourself, and above all for being "my listener." Thank you for allowing me to share the other person inside.....

Monday, December 05, 2005

Master of Disguise

The world could not be better, surrounded with family, surrounded with friends, surrounded with acquaintances, everything perfect, blessed with all this life could offer. Surrounded with all this company yet filled with loneliness, so am I really blessed or cursed? I have become a master of disguise, a spy cleverly hidden in this world, I live, I breath, I exist. But the stone mask I wear does not allow this crowded room of people to see what lies beneath, what truth I keep locked within the walls of this human body. Kept secret, locked deep within, it struggles to escape, the chains which binds it tight, sometime loosen, and I find it waiting at the surface, longing for its chance to escape, to be fulfilled, to finally have its chance at happiness. The darkness of its "closet" is at times almost unbearable, the screams, those deafening screams, louder and louder they get, how can they not hear them? Could it be, it must be, my mask of laughter buries the screams and this crowded room only sees, only hears, what they are allowed. I work the room, the stone mask securely in place, handshakes, hugs, forced smile, no one the wiser, a Master of Disguise.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Southernisms As a Second Language?

This post is a spinoff from a post read over @ Fresh N' Tasty posted by Donnie a few days ago, entitied: "Is That What Kids Are Sayin' Nowadays"

Southernisms when it comes to our customs and our use of the English language: Born and raised (reared) in the South

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner can show or point to you the general direction of "yonder"

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess"

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 10.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real "humdinger" (crisis) they also know to add a large banana puddin'

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea", (we do not like our tea unsweetened) sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 25 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way (Spider understands this phrase). And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, "Bless your hearts". I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a Second Language! And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have lived here for a long, long time, all ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here quick as I could."

Bless your hearts, ya'll have a good'un (blessed day)! author unkown

Thursday, December 01, 2005


I could not resist, I had to share this. It is perhaps the most revealing of all the photos I've posted so far. But judging from what can seen, this is the nearest it comes to being pure perfection. The color is magnificent, don't you agree?