Update

The tunnel was long but I have finally made it to the end, or close enough to at least see the light. The project is finished, presentation isn't officially until tomorrow, but it has already been signed off on, and the presentation is only a formality. There were some dark days, extremely long days, some I almost gave up days, but I hung in, I refused to throw in the towel. Now, maybe I can get my life back to some normalcy, if there is such a thing. Heart-felt thanks to each of you that stopped by, thanks to each of you that sent loving, caring emails. I will always hold your friendship inside a cherished place, my heart, and with each of its beats, I will always be reminded of you. Hopefully soon, I will be getting around to saying hello to all my blogging family, but until then, I think I will enjoy the rest of today, the world, outside. ((((HUGS))))

Sending Out A SOS......

I'm sorry, truly, sincerely, honest I am. Please forgive me for not visiting, I miss you all dearly. I've been saddled with a new project and I am bogged down up to my you-know-what and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day or days in the week to get everything accomplished. I've been given a strict deadline and I will meet it or die trying, not because of the consequences but because I love a challenge and I will prove it can be done to those not willing to take it on. When you talk to the BIG GUY up stairs say a little prayer for me, I'm going to need all the help I can get.

Someone to Love

Is it too much to ask for?

Orgasmic Shower

It was hard nipple cold this morning...........time to warm up with a hot shower.

Shock and Awe

I know I have impeccable hygiene, heck, I shower twice a day, whether I need it or not and rarely do I leave home without a fine mist of cologne but something tells me it was neither the body wash or the cologne. When a complete stranger walks up to you and whispers, "You smell so good, you need to have sex with me." What do you say?

I'm Tired of the Rain

Someone needs to call the plumber, God's toilet is overflowing........

Feeling Better

Thank-you for all the rainbows you sent me, I'm feeling so much better......your emails and comments were better than any Doctor prescribed medicine........

Cold, Wet, and Shivering

It all began as an overcast day, a dampness hung in the air, a fine mist, but without any wetness, if you know what I mean. Certainly not a good day to be outside, but none the less, that's where I ended up, outside. Some free time, away from work, away from home, away from everything and everybody was just what the Doctor ordered and who was I to argue. I stopped the truck, stepped out, heard the click of the locking door as I walked away, never once looking back. The first warning should have been the shiver that ran up my spine, but it wasn't. Even the dark, grey clouds that circled and swirled overhead was ignored. I walked and walked thinking about everything while thinking about nothing. Well, needless to say, the dampness in the air got thicker and heavier, the swirling clouds turned the mist into rain and I got soaked! Too far from the truck to make a mad dash, I hunkered down under an oak tree, its limbs giving me some protection during the heaviest of the downpour, but I still got soaked to the bone. It wasn't cold, but I guess with the slight drop in temp and along with being drenched, I couldn't shake the chill that had set in. Cold, wet, and shivering I sat there until the worst had passed then I retraced my steps, back to the truck and the welcoming sound as the door lock clicked open. The truck's dryness, its warmth cradled me, but when the truck's heater failed to warm the chill away, I knew I was in trouble. When I heard that little nagging voice whisper, "Don't let it be said, I didn't try and warn you. Far be it from me to say, I told you so." I knew I was in for trouble, I should have listened, but I didn't and there's no one else to blame. It's my fault, all mine. In the back of my mind, I saw the flashing red lights, that nagging voice in the back of my head whispered warnings of danger, but I didn't listen. Did Will Robinson ever heed the "Robot's" cry of danger ahead? NO! And like Will, I am suffering the consequences of my stubbornness along with plenty of reminders: chills, fever, hacking dry cough, rattling in the chest, wheezing, sneezing, watery eyes, sore throat........................

Compromise

The struggles, the battles, the wars, too many to recall. Way to many what ifs or should have beens to worry about, what is done is done, there is no going back, there is no do-overs. If I am to survive, there must be a compromise...

Happy Halloween

Trick or Treat?

Three Faces of Stephen (Conclusion)

I knew it! I knew he was going to be pissed. I knew there would be hell to pay, but I couldn't resist. I tried! I really did. Well, on second thought, maybe I didn't. Maybe I did flirt a little too much, but I'm tired of listening to him. I'm tired of hiding inside this cramped dark closet. I'm tired of living this celibate life. I'm tried of living in his shadow, hidden away in his darkness. I want to feel again, to live again, I want to know what love feels like again. And if I leave it up to the two of you, well, we all know what will happen and I'm not ready to accept that fate. So here is your warning, if I get the chance, I'm kicking the damn door off its hinges.
















Listen at you! Going to kick the damn door down, huh? What makes you think you can do it now after all these years? The two of you are giving me a migraine, sit down, shut up, and listen. If its not him ranting and raving, then its you ranting and raving. Give it a break! Take a deep breath, calm down, and think about this thing. My life is no picnic here, let me tell you. Day after day, I sit here, I watch the battle, the struggles, with needle and thread I stitch up the bloody wounds each of you inflict on one another. It's hard, I know its hard, both of you are strong in your convictions, determined to fight until the end, neither one willing to give an inch, but something's got to give. The battles are getting bloodier and frankly Florence Nightingale is getting tired. The two of you must find a compromise, we are in this thing together, and whether you like it or not we are stuck with each other....................

The Three Faces of Stephen

There's too many of us living here and I think it is time, one if not both of you move out. I'm sorry but the living arrangements, well, they're just not working anymore. I've tried to be accommodating, I've tried to understand, but your antics is getting out of hand. Take for instance, the other day, you, yes you, your antics almost blew our cover. Oh! Don't act so innocent now, you know what you did, you couldn't take your eyes off him, it was obvious to me, to him, and the co-worker we were having lunch with, what you were doing. Flirting with another man, in broad open daylight, in a public place, no less. What were you thinking? What am I going to do with you, you're getting out of control. And you, yes you, I've always been able to count on you for the balance between us. You've always kept things under control never allowing "him" to upset the harmonious relationship between the three of us, but you let me down. It was obvious, guys, our cover was almost blown, I can not tolerate that kind of behavior anymore. I just can't, I won't................I want you out!

to be continued......................................

Crusoe

If I could be this man's Friday pluck me from civilization and shipwreck me today...........

Philip Winchester stars as the optimistic and resourceful Robinson Crusoe in NBC’s new show "Crusoe." Friday's 9/8c

Sincere Thanks

When I've been too tired to stand alone, too weary to carry the burdens. When I've almost given up you have cradled me in your arms, surrounded me with your love, protected me not only from the world, but from myself. Your love, your kindness gives me hope, gives me strength, gives me a reason to believe again.

Thank-you for being my guardian angels..........

Wanted: Experienced Safecracker

Turn to the right three times stop on 27, back counter-clock wise two turns stop on 39, back again to the right, stop on 3, turn handle to open...........

Simple instructions, but obviously the wrong combination, the safe is still locked. Once again, to the right, back to the left, right again stopping on 3, crank the handle, still nothing, the safe is still locked, its job of safekeeping still intact. Angrily, I twist the dial hard. Why, for what, I know it isn't going to make it open, but for a millisecond the anger is dissipated. The tumblers inside the lock still turn with ease and with the right combination of turns and twist and numbers will fall one after the other in sequence, each one relinquishing its hold of what was entrusted and the door will open..... my heart will be free to love again.

Forbidden Fruit

Like Adam, I know there will be consequences, but I am a man with temptations and the forbidden fruit's firm, juicy flesh is getting harder to resist..............

I've Been Robbed!

Where did they go? All of them, every last single one of them has disappeared! Like a thief in the night looted and gone, they are. I've been robbed! I know I should have updated, switched over, changed hosting sites for my links, but I never got around to doing it and now look where it's gotten me. Nothing! I guess this tells me something, I guess I should be reading between my own lines more, shouldn't I? A lesson learned, it could be. Never put things off!

Diligent as a beaver building his dam back after a flash flood, I will work on adding everyone back, but if I miss you, please leave me a comment or send me an email.

Jock Itch of a Different Nature

I have an itch that needs to be scratched.......... A fear that I might like it.............

Into The Light

I hear voices telling me to go into light............

Walls Come Tumbling Down

How long had it been? I couldn't remember, but heck it's kind of like riding a bike. Years between rides, flat tires, rusted chains, none of it matters, once you've done it a time or two, it is something you never forget how to do. So I thought, what did I have to lose, absolutely nothing. I took a deep breath and sank to my knees. I admit, I was a little wobbly, a little rusty but this was something I needed to do. The desire was so strong I couldn't back out, I wanted it so bad, I could almost taste it, without ever parting my lips. I was nervous, my hands shook, and briefly I thought about getting up, about walking away, forgetting it all together, but it had been so long and I so needed to do this. I closed my eyes, another deep breath, and I started! Dear God, forgive me, I know I have sinned! I know I am not worthy but if you are still answering prayer, please, if you see fit answer one for me. The crispness of the air filled my lungs and the cool breeze touched my face like the gentle hands of a lover this morning on my way to work and I just can't survive another day locked away inside. Please God, give me the strength of Samson, lead me to the pillars of stone, help me Lord, to bring down the walls, let them tumble at the feet of my captors. I am suffocating, stuck inside these walls, please set me free. I need to be outside, I need to feel, to breath the freshness of Fall! I need to run naked through the falling leaves..... well, maybe not naked, but none the less, I need to be outside, damn it! Amen.

OK, I did it. Stephen slowly gets up, sits down at his desk and goes back to work.


Update: Guess what? God does answer prayers, at least, sometimes. I finished up at work earlier than expected so I headed home, changed, put on some hiking shoes and spent some of the afternoon hiking, no interruptions, no distractions, just me and the fresh Autumn air...