Call it what you will: married but gay, married but bi, straight with gay tendencies, straight with bi urges, it is what it is, no matter how you look at it. There are men that love other men that happened to be married. Again, agree or disagree - is it wrong, is it right? Remember God is the only judge, and I'm not trying to open the proverbial can of worms here, just stating the fact from Stephen's perspective. Yes, I do pray, yes I do believe in God. I have lived all my life on this earth and by no means do I consider myself a Saint but I never have been a judgmental person. It may be from being in the closet, nature, or nurture, who knows, and frankly who cares? Again it is, what it is. Now with all that being said it brings me to today's post. Exert from a article I read follows:
Apparently, there are more closet gay men on the planet than there are closets. All over the world middle-aged blokes are living one lifestyle while thinking about another. Many are married with kids and put on an appearance to convince those around them that they are just another Joe Average heterosexual son, brother, husband, father, and so on. A question frequently asked in lifestyle forums is this; “Why do so many men ‘turn gay’ at middle age?” The answer to that is they don’t. Well not usually! Most have always been that way, or at the very least had tendencies that they’ve kept from the wider world, and perhaps even from their own conscious mind. A boy’s sexuality is defined early in his childhood and so becomes set, or hard-wired into his very being. What this means is that no one is actually ‘born gay’, but homosexuality is developed as the child develops. Toby Strowger
As far back as I can remember the tendencies of male attraction has always been a present companion, a hidden companion, but none the less a secret pal. buddy and friend. What has me thinking, pondering, wondering, if not born this way, what along the way defined my sexuality? What childhood trigger set me off on this path? Believe me, I have a memory like an elephant and it stretches back really far, but for the life of me I can not pinpoint any event to attribute it to. What do you think? Were you born this way, did the male to male attraction occur from some defining moment in your childhood, and more importantly, does it really even matter. We are who we are....
6 comments:
You can't turn a straight person gay any more than you can turn a gay person straight so I'm guessing we are all born with a sexual make-up which eventually defines our sexual attraction in later life. When I was younger I'd worry about it but I suppose one of the good (?) things about getting older is that you begin to prioritise what you worry about! I'd probably put - health, love, kindness, and trying to stay happy way ahead on my list.
And talking of lists, thanks for adding me to your blogroll. Its a distinguished list!
JP
Again, thanks for another thoughtful post. You are right, we are who we are. For me, I think we are born this way. No defining moment for me that I can really put my finger on. I can remember trying not to "think those things", but those thoughts kept coming back.
itsmyhusbandandme, thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to leave the comment. You are so right about prioritizing one's issues and perspectives when getting older. Don't sweat the little stuff, don't fret over issues you can't change or control, find something in each day that gives peace and meaning to you and the rest will be ok. Happy you are ok with me adding you to my blog list, I look forward in reading more of your post.
mcpersonalspace54, like you if I wasn't born this way, if it's not part of my genetic code, rooted into the phenotype makeup, then for the life of me, what defined me had to had happen while I was still in the cradle. Thanks for the comment.
I think from what I've watched and read, some are born with the potential to be gay but it's not one thing that triggers it, so it's not that you heard a Village People song and boom, you're gay. They say that is why some identical twins are not both gay. This does upset me but what can I do. Thinking back to being very young, I always knew there was something really different about me compared to the other boys but I didn't understand what. I even remember as young as grade four or five, trying to see if any of the other guys felt attraction to guys like I did. I remember them laughing and learned to stay quiet after that.
Sooo-this-is-me; your right about the identical twins, one gay, one not which people have debated for years. One just gets a little extra special code on their DNA and that's what makes us the special ones. LOL
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