Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Testing The Waters, Again

Could it be . . . is it possible? Do I dare believe this could be the one? God knows, the last time I thought about stepping out of the "closet" what a disaster that turned out to be. I'm not sure if I can trust myself to be objective enough to see between the (his) lines, and God knows, if anyone should be able to do that, it should be me. Maybe, I'm concentrating more on the pic he sent than the words I'm reading.

This is part of his latest email, read it, give me some feedback, please.

Like you, I've always been able to keep my feelings about guys in check. I've fantasized about a lot of things, but was prepared to never act on any of my desires. I knew as a young guy that I was interested in other guys, but knew I wanted a traditional family life (wife and kids). We've had a computer and Internet access for years but I've never really been tempted to go exploring until the last few months or so. Just admitting I had these feelings scared me. Guess I felt being almost 40 I owed it to myself to experience something with a guy beyond a drunken jo session in college. Anyway, I like your scenario with just being close to another guy. Sounds great to me, and not silly at all. I think that's what I'm looking for more than just sex. A guy who I can talk to about these feelings that can understand it all and not judge me. I also want to experience sexual closeness with a guy, but guess I'm more the type that likes to "make love" rather than just screw.


Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Is he married? Be prudent with your heart, friend. I've fooled around with one married guy, and I fell in love with another married guy. The first one was fun, and no harm done. The second was one of the most painful experiences of my life. He'll choose his wife for the sake of the kids.
I don't mean to preach at you, buddy. I just want you to be careful.

daveincleveland said...

he sounds sincere, but yeah check to see if he is married....the making love thing gets me....much the same senario as i am going through...guard your heart dear freind, guard your heart...

peter said...

Sometimes your gut tells you more then your heart

woe said...

On the score of him being married I would say be careful.
Over riding that though, I am at a point in life I can identify with what he is saying. On that basis, Stephen you owe it to yourself to experience whats out there. Having a like minded guy to relate to has to be a good thing.

Sure you risk getting hurt. I do believe it is better to love and then lose, than never to love at all.

Put differently, you must dance like no one is watching and love like it's never going to hurt.

I can only wish you every bit of joy you can find Stephen. Your mask is so many respects has represented me for more than a year and a half now. Your words, insights and striking images have meant much to me.

With love and hugs.

Albert said...

First, love the foot pic!

he sound nice to me but sometimes a screw is fine too

DEREK said...

Just be careful, follow your intuition!

Scott said...


I'm in much the same boat as you. I've been relatively happily married for 34 years and been in the closet all that time. I've decided that I'm going to stay in the closet for work and because I love my wife, but that doesn't stop me from thinking wistfully all the time about what I've given up. Lately, I've been thinking about making a connection with other married guys who have as much at stake as I do; it's slow going, but I'm out there exploring.