The End

The end is in sight! Good-bye 2006 . . .

I looked into the mirror this morning and there it was, right there for the whole world to see. I blinked once, blinked twice, it was still there, only more visible now since I had the eyes cleared of sleep. Where did that come from? The nerve of it, lying there, right next to the right eye, did it think I would not see it? I touched it ever so slightly, rubbed it, pulled it, tried to smooth it out, but it was determined, it had found a new home and it was here to stay. There was no use in denying it, it was there alright. Another wrinkle!

But, what can I expect? Another year has come and gone. So what if there is another wrinkle. Another wrinkle? Damn, where did I put that anti-wrinkle cream?

Tis the Season

To get names off the naughty list and onto the nice list was next to impossible. It was hard, I'm telling you it wasn't easy, I really had to pull some strings. I'm not going to tell you how I did it, other than it involved some God Damned Singing Elves, but I managed to get a special Do Not Forget List in Santa's hands.

Merry Christmas!

Hiding the Scales

Missing Parts

When you came into my life, you completed me. Never questioning why, never trying to fix me, you accepted me as I was, flaws and all. When I needed someone to listen, you gave me your ear, when I needed to cry, I leaned on your shoulder, when I lost my way, you found it for me, you were my beacon of light in the darkness. When I needed shelter against the world, you cradled me in your arms, protecting me, you kept me safe. You were my anchor in the storm, my rock, you were the one that kept me grounded against the harsh winds of life. I knew this of you, you knew this of me. God! Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I listen to that tiny little voice inside, telling me to pick up that phone and call you that morning? Why didn't I listen? If I had, would it have made a difference? Why didn't you let me be your anchor, your rock, why didn't you let me cradle you in my arms until the demons within you vanished back into the darkness that morning. God, why? Why?


Searching for the christmas spirit among memories of sadness and pain. Another year without you in it. Sometimes I catch myself looking at your picture wondering why you haven't called lately, then I remember. You are gone, you will never call again, all that remains are memories.

Overworked, Overstressed, etc. etc.

Overworked, overstressed, gears turning, springs twisted, tightened, my mind about to explode.

Count to ten, one....two.... three....remember, slow deep breaths, four...five....breathe slow, six.... seven.... breathe in breathe out, eight.... nine.... ten!


Does this really help or is the brain depraved of oxygen to the point of not giving a shit anymore? One.... two... oh, fuck, I already done that! See, I knew it, it's the lack of oxygen! Out with the bad, in with the good ... all bad things must come to an end. Or is it? All good things can't last forever. Who knows? Who the hell cares?

Santa is Dead!

OK, Confess! Which one of you did this?

Bah, Humbug!

In the beginning it can fool you, it leads you to believe this year is going to be different. No way will this year be like all the years before. . . this one will be different. Well, it isn't! The traffic, the crowds, the rushing here, the rushing there, will they like this, keep this, or return this. And to think it is only going to get worse. Wake me when it is all over. . .

Are You Man Enough

There is a question, but you don't ask it. I see it in your eyes before they look away. You wonder, if I ask the question, will I be able to bear the answer? I know it is the fear of hearing the answer that prevents you from asking. There is pain, I can feel it, I know it is there, there is no use in denying it, I've known you to long. Although you try, you can't hide it. It has always been there, it has always been the one thing that has kept us from being complete, you know it, as well as I, there is no use in denying it. The painted smile you wear in the light of day does not cover up the tears you allow out in the shadows of the night. How do I know, you ask? Remember, I know you, I know you better than you know yourself. You can hide things from all the others, but there is nothing you can hide from me, I know you to well. . . I am you.

The House is Empty

Searching, wandering, roaming the house, room by room, I flip on the light, the shadows scurry away, my eyes search, there is no one, my ears strain for the sound of a voice, there is no one, I am alone. I am left with nothing but silence and an empty house. I need to feel, I need to embrace, I need to be embraced, I need to feel something, but there is no one here, there is nothing but an empty house, nothing but a deafening quiet silence. God, I need a hug . . .

World Aids Day

On the "Light to Unite" Web site, visitors can light a virtual candle, sharestories about how HIV/AIDS has impacted their lives, and help increase awareness of the epidemic by e-mailing a friend. For each virtual candle lit through December 31, 2006, Bristol-Myers Squibb will contribute $1 to the National AIDS Fund, up to a maximum contribution of $100,000, to benefit AIDS service organizations in underserved communities in the U.S. Bristol-Myers

Let's us do our part: Light a candle by clicking on the candle below.