Thursday, July 03, 2008

Never Ever...hopefully...Never Ever

Okay, I've got to say it. This is the scariest blog I've ever read. Stephen seems to be on the verge of suicide. Hope that's not the case! (comment left a few days ago)

Just so you know, if at anytime you ever were to hear that Stephen is dead and it appears to have been self-inflicted, it seems to have been intentional, an apparent dead by his own hands, please investigate! I will be the first to tell you there is a Killer on the loose, a fugitive on the run and he has my blood on his hands! Stephen loves himself too much to ever commit suicide. However, I will be the first to admit through the years at some of the lowest times in my life, my demons have tried their damnest. As I try to recall, I remember on two of the most darkest times in my life, I did think about taking my own life, one as a teenager and one not so many years ago. When a close, loved friend committed suicide, his death, my lost, touched me in a way I never thought I feel the sun's warmth again. This time in my life is perhaps the nearest I ever came, those demons, my demons, dragged me so far down, I almost gave in. For weeks, months, I functioned only on auto-pilot, a zombie going through the motions of how you would describe a loved one on life support, I had breathe but not life. Had it not been for pray, friends, and time, I would have been lost. The pain, the anguish is still there, but then so am I. No matter how low my demons may drag me down, somehow, someway I will survive.


Ur-spo said...

best thing to do with demons is to laugh at them or plant a pie in their puss. they can not abide laughter - it exposes them for the frauds they are.

Derek said...

Spo's so awesome, he can make me laugh when I'm crying. You will make it mr, stronger day by day, good and bad days. What I like about your blog is your always honest with how you feel, whether it's pain or happiness. Big hugs.

daveincleveland said...

been there, almost tried that, but remember there is light at the end of the dark tunnel we have all and are going through...i am starting to see that light and buddy i will tell you it looks fantastic or should i say fabulous...keep on keepin on and you will get ther
hugs from cleveland