Here is this week's Thursday Throwback.
First Posted: Tuesday, May 09, 2006: Entitled "Are You Man Enough"
There is a question, but you don't ask it. I see it in your eyes before they look away.
You wonder, if I ask the question, will I be able to bear the answer? I know it is the fear of hearing the answer that prevents you from asking. There is pain, I can feel it, I know it is there, there is no use in denying it, I've known you to long.
Although you try, you can't hide it. It has always been there, it has always been the one thing that has kept us from being complete, you know it, as well as I, there is no use in denying it.
The painted smile you wear in the light of day does not cover up the tears you allow out in the shadows of the night. How do I know, you ask?
Remember, I know you, I know you better than you know yourself. You can hide things from all the others, but there is nothing you can hide from me.
I know you to well. . . I am you.
Self Commentary: Where does the time go? It has almost been ten years since writing these words down. Literally, a lifetime ago. The painted smile, I still wear for the outward world to see. The pain and tears if I am to be honest to myself are still present. They are only allowed to be seen by the man in the mirror and shared here amongst friends .
9 comments:
Oooow yikes, those words addressed to self! I did that all the time, I even found a poem recently that I wrote to my adult self back when I was seventeen. I wish I could help you, but that would be the blind leading the blind unfortunately.
Your words are words I think that many of us have uttered or thought. What we deal with on a daily basis is not easy, and it is not easy to be able to talk to anyone about it. I guess that is what blogging is for. Just know that what you write and tell your blogging friends is understood. It is indeed amazing to reread posts from the past. Sometimes it is cathartic, sometimes not. Keep writing. Hopefully it helps.
~Michael
I work on a telephone help line
Hidden feelings are a theme, a curse, a way of coping, a way of living , a protection , a camouflage, a way of life
Sooo-this-is-me; we all have struggles, some we overcome, some we carry through life as baggage. Most of us are strong, we can carry the load but always know that load is always lighter when friends like you care. Thanks for always listening.
Michael, It is impossible sharing a lot of things with family or even with everyday friends and indeed that is where blogging has been a lifeline. Thank God for having blogging friends like you.
John Gray; Keep the telephone line open you never know when I maybe calling...
time flies; get cracking on those things you want to do
make a schedule/deadline lest it all slip by.
Ur-spo; at times I think it all has slipped by already, but I guess as long as there is breathe it is never too late. thanks for the advise.
I think we probably all have man in the mirror moments. Make a promise to yourself not to wait another 10 years to like who you see looking back at you?
JP
JP, use to have them quite a bit, but I have come to accept the man staring back much easier as time goes by. maybe in ten years I will actually love him.
This made me feel sad.. I mean really sad to the core. So many of us put on a face for the world... so many of us hurt deeply and never share that deep dark hurt with anyone....... and never ever will. x
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