All Tied Up

Guys, sorry for the lack of posting lately, but I've been all tied up and unfortunately not in the good kind of way. For the last several days, it has been nothing but work, work, and more work. I've felt like a tumble turd bug in a pasture of fresh cow manure, wondering where in the heck was all this crap coming from, steadily rolling big piles of shit into smaller piles of shit in an attempt of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And although I've been given a reprieve of a few hours of down time this morning I'm sure those cows are steadily adding more work. Where is that light?

Friends

Well, guys, the days off have come and gone, and it is back to work, but I so much wanted to send each of you " A Heartfelt Thank-you" follow-up.

There are no words within the covers of the dictionary that could describe what it meant to me reading the comments each of you left on the last post. It only makes me realize that this journey is only made more wonderful by the gift of friendship. Hugs and Kisses

A Heartfelt Thank-you

There was an almost Helen Keller silence in the room. The only sound being heard was the beating of my own heart. Its pounding echoing in my ear, silent to everyone but deafening to me. I sat in front of the computer screen, fingers resting on the keyboard, as a lifetime of desires locked away in darkness, found their way out. A new journey, a new beginning, a new discovery of myself had been born, it was called a blog. Not knowing what to expect, not knowing where it would lead, not knowing if I was opening a door that could be or for that matter, a door I would ever want to shut again, I began typing. It has been a wonderful journey and a discovery of some wonderful friends. Friends that have extended their hands in a friendship I never imagined existed. Chances are we may never meet in person but always know each of you have made a difference in Stephen's life.

Monday's To Do List.

Easter has come and gone and no I didn't find the prize egg, Damnit! Actually, I worked all weekend and didn't get the chance to partake in any of the Easter activities but then you won't see a tear in the corner of my eye, its never been one of my favorite holidays. At least by volunteering to work, I'm now looking at a few days off. But then a few days off, at this time of year down South, doesn't mean a few days off. There is a list of things needing to be done: grass needs cutting, weeds need pulling, need to broadcast some weed and feed to kill the weeds in the lawn and fertilize the grass, just like I need the damn grass to grow any faster, got to wash the vehicles . . . can't even see what color they are from all the pollen and bee crap, pressure wash the deck, clean the grill, did I say I had the day off? Well, maybe I'll get to enjoy one of these after I get through. Ok, get your mind out of the gutter, I was talking about the beer in his hand.  

Wishing You A:

Is It Time?

Well guys, I know it has been a few days since posting and I could say it was due to my hectic work schedule or perhaps my late night partying habits, or my even more exciting love life, but I can't. The truth of the matter is Stephen has been lost. . . lost somewhere inside himself these last few days. In fact, Stephen has been lost his entire life to himself and to his truth. Sitting here, thoughts racing, twisting, turning, swirling faster than the Kansas tornado that landed Dorothy into the Land of Oz. Stephen is wondering, Stephen is questioning, is it time?


The nurse steps into the room, "Stephen, it is time for your medication."

How Do You Spell Relief?

Tension building, heart pounding, blood racing, blood engorged cock, pounding, fisting, faster, nuts tightening, jacking, harder, toes curling:

Relief

It's A Small World

If you have been a reader of my blog then you are aware of the few post concerning the repairman, the first one was entitled: Almost and the other one hinted to possibly another encounter posted only a day or so ago entitled: Peekaboo. This is the conclusion.





He came into my world a perfect stranger, unimposing yet with an air of self-assuredness about him but then he was here to do a job. Had he walked into a room full of people some heads would have turned, but most would have only offered a glance or two before returning to whatever it was that held their attention, perhaps a book or back to a boring conversation, having made no lasting impression in their preoccupied minds. Admittedly, there was nothing Roman God like about him, no chiseled chest of muscles, bulging biceps, but there was something, and on this day he was standing in my doorway. There was no room full of people, only the two of us exchanging introductions, out stretched hands, firm handshake, nice hands. There was an aura of innocence, an essence of wholesomeness about him, he was no doubt a good son, a good brother, and from the ring of gold on his third finger of his left hand, a good husband. We talked while he did his work, steady, sure of himself and his ability, stopping on occasion to make eye contact, his eyes sparkling or was it only a reflection of my own I was seeing. What was it about this stranger that had me drawn to him as a moth is drawn to the flickering of a candle flame? Here I was a man wondering what it would be like to embrace another man. Here I was a man wondering what it would be like to slowly unbutton his shirt, button by button exposing more of what my eyes were already feasting on, a tuff of man hair peeking out from a few already opened buttons.





My eyes falling downward, I wondered what lie hidden from my view, lost for a moment in thought, perhaps I allowed my gaze to linger too long. Looking back up our eyes met, was there a slight smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eye? I wondered? I came close to throwing caution to the wind, I came close to opening the door of this closet and for once stepping outside, I came close. Believe me I thought about it, I thought about it more than once, I would be lying if I said I didn't but I let the chance slip through my fingers.






Fast forward a few weeks and call it what you will, bad luck perhaps good luck, but in either case there would be another meeting between myself and the repairman. Ok, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I found myself having warm fuzzies thinking about the possibilities. Heck, I didn't even know if he would be the same guy to come back or if another one would get the call but I guess the Gods were smiling down from above. The doorbell rang, door opens, and once again there is no room full of people, only the two of us, standing there. Another greeting, another handshake, nice hands, he followed me inside. The ease of conversation present as it had been on our first meeting, maybe more so.




We talked while he did his work, steady, sure of himself and his ability, stopping on occasion to make eye contact, his eyes sparkling, mine filled with lust and desire. My mind made up, I was going to chance it. I was going to swing open this closet door. My heart pounded like an African jungle drum from a Tarzan movie. We talked, he worked, the pounding of the drum got louder and louder, he found the problem, a minor one, no charge he was saying, he would take care of it, smiling, eyes sparkling, as he finished. Then it happened.....






Don't ask me how, but somehow it happened, what on my part had only been a first name was followed by a last name, followed by the son of, brother to, husband of . . . the pounding of the drums slowed as I was thinking it really is a small world after all. There is relief that "IT" did not happen. As a dear friend once told me, fantasizing about what might have happened can be more stimulating than what could have happened in reality.


Stephen slowly shuts the door.

Peekaboo

Ok, enough of the blue skies, it is time for some man stuff, here at Southern Closet. There has not been a rain cloud in sight for days but that didn't stop the Gods from pissing on me this weekend. The "Bad Luck Fairy" flew in and dusted me with some of his "trouble dust" Saturday morning and I've been hotter than a ho' in church all weekend. Remember ***** looks like he will coming back. Maybe it isn't all bad luck after all.

Blue Skies

Well, guys, there is nothing new to report, other than it looks like it is going to be another gorgeous Spring day. I've got another day all to myself with nothing lined up and Lord knows I'm trying to be a good boy and not get into any trouble but I could think of a few things I would rather be doing than having a late breakfast, on the deck, watching these crazy squirrels chase one another around and around, but "you're" not here. So I guess I will surf some blogs on the laptop as I enjoy these blue skies.

Day Off

Today started just like any other, no different than yesterday or the day before or even the day before that day. The alarm clock with its predetermined wake up call did not fail to arouse me from a night of dreams. Waking from the clutches of the darkness, I laid there half asleep, half awake, before I realized there was a difference, much like the difference between a 5" cock and a 10" cock, there was a big difference. Today was Stephen's day off, no work, no predetermined responsibilities, no obligations for Stephen to take care, today was mine. I don't have the slightest idea how I want to spend the day but the weather is too good to stay indoors. I only wish I had some of my blogging buddies here to enjoy it with me.

Enough

I need to feel your arms holding me, me holding you.
I need to feel the warmth from your body.
I need to feel your skin against my skin.
I need to see you breathe.
I need to feel alive.
I can not think of anything I would rather be doing.
I can not think of a place I would rather be.
Here with you, is enough.

WHY?

Long hours and long days all running together, seemingly with no beginning and no end, leaving me drained and questioning why? The promise of a life, a future, a world just beginning, ending all to soon. Why? What makes this day, any different than the day before? What is it that makes this day the last day? Life and death and all the what if's that go along with it. Never any answers only questions of why, but when you find yourself, holding in your hands the head of a dead teenager . . . how can there not be questions of why?

Escape

Sometimes, it seems the more I struggle against the bonds that bind, the tighter they become, struggling to escape the darkness, lost in a cavern with no light, cold, wet, I shiver in the darkness. Twisting and turning I fight to become free, struggling from the boa constrictor grip holding me captive.

To the outside world there is no visible signs of a struggle, no conflict, no raging war, but within there is bleeding, blood gushes from the open wounds. Half a person peering out into a world, an open book but with blank pages, no words written for the prisoner locked inside this darkness. Obligations and responsibilites for the person of light, dreams and hopes for the person of darkness. I struggle to break free of these bonds, I struggle to be free.


Ok, I know what you must be thinking but everything is alright. Stephen has not stepped off into the deep end of an empty pool and landed on his head. Everything can't always be roses and sunshine, everything can not always be simple, life is complicated, we all have our problems, we all have our demons and mine just reared it's ugly head and it took me a few days to kick it's ASS!

What Lies Hidden

How can three. . .little . . .simple. . .words cause so much anguish and pain. Come on, how hard can it be to get around three little simple words? Hidden inside this world of darkness, door locked, key on the outside, self imposed exile from happiness because of three little simple words. Will the beginning be the end? Will there be a day when everything will be a open book, where everyone will already know the ending of the story without ever having read the last line in the Book of Stephen? Will there ever be a day, my life will be an open pair of jeans, everything bared for the world to see?

A Day of Escape

A Monday afternoon in Savannah was just what the doctor ordered. Spring was in the air and I could not take being cooped up in doors another day, so when the opportunity came to get out and enjoy the day, how could I resist. It turned out to be a beautiful day spent in Savannah, lunch at Olive Garden, a visit to River Street (photo of Waving Girl), a little shopping and some eye candy watching at Lowe's, Home Depot, Best Buy, rounded the afternoon off, all in all it was a perfect afternoon escape.

Springtime

I was confined inside those walls of concrete and steel this weekend and was unable to enjoy Mother Nature's awakening of a new season. I know, Spring does not officially start for a few more days, but low and behold, it was here in all its warm sun shining glory this weekend, and there I was, locked inside but it will not happen today. Today I will be outside listening to the birds sing, looking at the flowers blooming, filling the rays of warm sun shine against my bare skin, and who knows I may be lucky enough to see the first season's shirtless man as he gets a early start on his yards, getting all hot and sweaty or perhaps a shirtless man washing his car getting all hot, wet, and soapy or for that matter, a shirtless man being all shirtless just because he can. May your week be full of sunshine and shirtless men:

Almost

I awoke yesterday morning to the smell of smoldering wires burning, ever so faint, but still enough to alert me as I made my way to the bathroom. Standing at the toilet with my piss hardened dick in hand taking care of the more important task at hand, the smell lingered in the air, but it would have to wait, first things first. Now with a smile on my face and Stephen Jr. tucked back in all snug and warm, I began the search much like a blood hound on the trail of its prey. I sniffed the air, roaming the house first one room then the other, until I discovered the smell was coming from the furnace, no heat radiated from the ducts only the smell of smoldering wires, just what I needed. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off but there wasn't anything I could do about it and the best I could hope for was I'd be able to get a repairman out on short notice. As soon as they opened for business, I was on the phone and it must have been my lucky day, the repairman would be able to come within the hour, I just didn't know how lucky I was until I opened the door. Standing in the doorway, was the most handsomest man I've seen in a long time. I was standing there thinking no way in hell was this the repairman. This wasn't what I was expecting but there he was, hand extended, introducing himself and explaining he was a little early, hoping it wouldn't be a problem. Problem, what the hell, if I had known this guy would have been the repairman I would have torn the furnace up myself. There has always been something about a man's hand that just does something for me, it is one of the first things I notice. Well, it goes without saying, this guy had just the right kind of hands and the grip of his handshake was all it took. I was in lust.

Most of the time I would politely show the repairman to the problem and go about doing other things around the house but not this time. As ***** (that was his name) worked on the furnace, we talked. The tone of the conversation was more than one of perfect strangers and yes, I knew if I made the first move even though there was a wedding band present, something could, would happen.




In my mind's eye I could already see what ***** had hidden underneath the plaid button down shirt and tight jeans he wore. I thought about it, I seriouly thought about it, I would be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind more than once, but I let the opportunity slip through my hands. Even when the job was over and he chose to sit next to me on the sofa instead of one of the other empty chairs in the room, I still let the opportunity slip by. . . now today, I'm thinking what the HELL!

Clean and Fresh: New Week Ahead!

Last week's war between the cousin twice removed of the Bird Flu Virus Clan and myself proved to be one hell of a week. At times, it was unsure of who would come "out on top" but after a few extra days of bed rest and laying low, I can now say with complete certainty, the foreign invader was conquered and sent back to the bowels of HELL from whence he came. Last week will be placed into the memory file folder of bad weeks. The only good thing, about last week, held in the "Heart of Stephen" locked away but not forgotten will be the love and care he received from his blogging friends. But now it is time to look ahead to a "Clean and Fresh" new week, one in which I look forward to sharing with you all. Have a good weekend and I will see you next week. ((((HUGS))))

Hugs and Kisses

I fell out of bed this morning still fighting the remaining troops of the "Bird Flu Virus Clan" and had decided early on there would be no post today. I know, I know, I can hear the clapping of hands from the cheap seats, but for those of you who came to see the show, hold on to your ticket. Stephen is in the house! I took the advise of a good friend and took a few extra days to rest and get some cuddling in, even if the cuddling he was talking about was with a blanket, which happens to be the story of my life, but that's another story, for another day. Rest, blanket cuddling, and visiting friends in the "Land of Cyber" . . . I had my day all planned out, it's an exciting life, I know, what can I say. People are constantly lining up at my door wanting to trade lives, their's for mine, but I keep turning them away. Gosh, you got to be saying, "Stephen is really sick, quick, call the medics, the fever is raging, his brain is frying, he's obviously delirious." I agree, the fever is raging, be damn those "Hordes of Demons" sent by the alien to torment my wretched soul but delirium has not set in yet. One of the nicest things happened to me today and I could not let today pass by without sending back some love and genuine thanks from my heart. It was in the form of a ShoutOut from a fellow friend and blogger I have had the honor of meeting since I started on this journey. Below is the Shoutout:

Monday, February 27, 2006

Well, it's been awhile since I "shouted out" to a few of my favorite bloggers -- so it's that time again. I have chosen another few buddies to "put in the spotlight" because their blogs are just so incredibly fabulous...here we go:

1) Stephen...I don't even know where to start. This guy has totally changed my life for the better. Stephen and I have become best buddies here in blogland as well as in life and I am a better person for it. Basically, we're kinda soul mates. He is sometimes serious, sometimes simple, often times funny, sometimes deep - but he is always honest and humble and offers a glimpse of life that we might otherwise take for granted. Stephen's gift is that he sees the world through a unique pair of eyes that allow him to see the very best in people. Everyone is valuable and priceless and irreplaceable in Stephen's eyes. If Stephen is your friend, you've got a friend for life! He also has an eye for the most beautiful men and all you have to do is take a look at his site to see what I'm talking about. Many of you, my faithful readers, are already friends of Stephen -- but if you are someone who has not yet had the pleasure of meeting this guy, you simply MUST go visit his blog. You will not be the same. He truly has a way of making a positive impact on your life - and he does it by simply being himself. Love you Stephen -- thanks for adding a "kickass" load of wonderful to my life as my new best buddy! You're beyond incredible.

Guys, what can I say, this touched my heart, we are all here for a reason, the reasons we blog are as varied as those of us who blog. When I started this journey, I never dreamt the family of friends that would come into my life. When I say, I am the one who has been blessed, the words come from my heart. Rob (aka, Ziggy) was the sweetheart that gave me the ShoutOut, and in return I dedicate today's photo pick to him. Hey, what's a little kiss between friends, hugs and kisses Rob. And by the way, if you've never been by Ziggy's Lounge, you don't know what you're missing. Trust me, I know the proprietor on a first name basis, drop in and say, "Hi, tell Ziggy, Stephen sent me."